It was a beautiful Sunday morning. The sun was just up and the morning dew was slowly disappearing into the wet mud. The grass was green, as green as it would be every Sunday morning. As it would Diya and Karan would walk on the green grass bare feet and bask in the morning sunshine. To honour their togetherness, companionship and love.
“Mooooooooooooom! Where are you?” came a thoroughly excited voice from inside the house. It was Neha. She ran outside to the garden looking for her mother and gave her the tightest bear hug anyone could imagine. Mother and daughter were reunited after a whole year of being apart. It was the same every year when Neha was back from boarding school. Neha was extremely delighted at being back. At being able to lie down on her mother’s lap and talk about life for hours together or talk to her father about politics and sports, or devour home-food rather than that oily greasy stinky food at the hostel canteen, or just being able to lie down on the huge garden. Every little moment spent home was important for Diya. Her joy knew no bounds.
As mother and daughter made themselves comfortable in the living room, Diya was dreading the question that would be next asked. And it came no sooner than she thought it. “Hey Mom, when is Dad going to come home?” She told herself to be strong. Told herself not to lie to her daughter while she was going to deliver to her the news of Karan’s untimely death. Karan, the love of her life who had given her everything, a home, a daughter and so much love. How could she break it to her daughter? The question had been reeling in her mind for every one of the last fifteen days from the time of his death. Neha had her final exams then and it would have been so difficult for her to deal with something like this. Yes, she had done the right thing. By waiting for this time to tell her. She felt so torn. She wished for the first time truly that she could see Neha, to wipe her tears, to make sure she was okay. It was time. For the truth. “Sweetie, there is something I have to tell you. Karan is no more. He was in a car accident on the way back from work last Monday evening. I was not with him. He was admitted to hospital immediately, but the doctors couldn’t do anything. I am so sorry.” Silence. A very long silence. “Baby, talk to me. I really need to know what is on your mind.” “What can I say mom? I am just really shocked. I didn’t even have the opportunity to see my father before he di… died.” She choked. And both of them cried for Karan, the most important man in both their lives. A shelter, a great man, full of strength, wisdom and courage. A fantastic father and a loving husband, had just gone from their lives.
As it turned dark that evening, Neha still recovering from the truth started up a conversation with Diya. “Mom, have you ever wondered why Dad would never let you go in the study?” “Hmmm, yes. Why do you ask?” “Here.” And she handed Diya a letter. “Read it out. You know I can’t read this.” “Trust me, you will be able to.” And she touched the letter. Braille. She got emotional. What a man, he had thought of everything so perfectly. She missed him so much. She hated that she was going to cry in front of Neha, for whom she had to be strong. But Neha had taken this news very well. Neha was an intelligent girl. She was very aware of everything around her and she took a lot of care and caution and thought every action out. She was a part of him. And she missed him even more.
The letter started:
Dear Diya
How are you? I know you are very upset and sad right now. I hate that I have to do this in a letter. I wanted to tell you all this when I was on a death bed, but I had given this letter to Neha to give to you if I had had an accidental death. It is important. Certain things, truths of life are better known when the people involved are long gone. It is necessary to understand my rationale in telling you this at this moment of your life. It is but strange, how life has turned out for me. I have shared every bit of my life with you. Well almost. In all our conversations, it just never came up. Thank Neha, because I had told her not to blow my top from the time she was a child. And thank God, it never came up in conversations with other people. I guess it was just an awesome stroke of luck.
I was visually challenged. It took me about 12 hours to figure out a way to word it in the way that you would understand best, but I finally just thought I should lay it on you. It has been horrible hiding this from you considering we shared everything. My rationale behind this was just simply that I didn’t want you to feel like you have to be with a visually challenged person all your life just because you are. It is just a matter of coincidence; that I met you, loved you and married you, but all the same, WE were meant to be together. I love you Diya. You might be feeling awkward, strangely empty and maybe even cheated. I can understand every one of your feelings.
To rid you of those feelings, just think about this. Was our love defined by whether I could see? It was based on truth, and for the most part we both have stuck to that. It was based on an emotion, a feeling that brought us both together. It was based on how beautiful, or stunning you were which I always said. Not on how beautiful or stunning you looked, which I never said. I never let you come to the study because I didn’t want you to get any clue to the fact that I couldn’t see.
I remember the time when I first met you. I was blown away by your confidence. I was literally sensed a symbol of power in you. I was so blown away by what you had said at that interview. I keep bringing it up because I think it was when I actually fell in love with you. It was a sign from heaven. I have never been able to see you. But I know I could just feel your beauty, your raw enthusiasm for life and your undying faith in me. This part of our destiny, to be together would not have changed even if the sky fell down.
Diya, I have no more words left now. All I can ask from you is to forgive me. And to accept my spirit in the same way you had accepted my being. I love you and I will always.
Love,
Karan.
Numbness. Silence. Confusion. Clarity. And strangely unimportant. Diya loved Karan. Karan loved Diya. And that was the truth. No other truth was beyond that. And now she missed him even more.
2 Comments
August 8, 2008 at 4:01 pm
clap clap clap! wah wah
August 9, 2008 at 5:24 am
just read all the parts. i like the continuity, and the discontinuity that you have managed in your narration at the same time. the finishing touch was perfect. especially the way he hid the truth subtly all the time. dream on my lady, and spin more such wonderful stories !